The C word

Today was the day to get my stitches out of my zipper neck. That was the easy part. Then Dr. White came in, moved my purse off of a chair and sat down. That's not usually a good sign when that happens. He had just gotten my formal lab report back today and happened to be able to have a minute or two between patients right before I came for my appointment.

Follicular Carcinoma.....The C word.

POOO!!!

It was small though. Only 1.4cm and they didn't find any vascular invasion. This means that it probably has not spread anywhere else. This type of thyroid cancer is less common (only 15%) but is more aggressive. I tried to remember what I had read a few weeks ago when I was researching this stuff. This type will spread through the blood system instead of the lymph system so in bad cases it can go to lungs and bones. Ok, so now I need the rest of the thyroid removed. Next is tests to see if they can find cancer anywhere else. Then they use iodine to target some radiation and kill anything that is remaining.

My intuition had told me to expect this diagnosis. After the surgery and they said it looked good I thought we had dodged the bullet. My intuition has usually been right through out my life on many occasions. I guess it's my Heavenly Fathers way to let me know that he is not far away.

Back to the hospital on Monday for a do-over on the surgery.

POOOOOO!!!!!!!

My bumpy neck.

I want to say a huge thank you to all my sweet friends and family who have been so caring and supportive this week as I heal. You are wonderful and every prayer, small care and thoughtful word was
noticed. 


Most of you know by now that I had surgery this week to remove part of my thyroid. I am usually pretty quiet about my health issues to people around me so some of my friends were a little surprised they didn't know before hand. I hate being the center of attention so I didn't want to make a big issue out of this. I've been dealing with some pretty significant health issues since around age 25 when I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis which is a variant of Rheumatoid Arthritis.

When you have a type of disease that is mostly hidden from outside views it sometimes is helpful for me to feel like a normal person when I am treated just like everyone else. It's also easier sometimes to just not have to explain it all. The question was usually "where do you have your arthritis?" Well, pick any joint (or connective tissue) in the body and you would be correct. Then some feel it their duty to tell me what their cousin's aunts sister-in-law did to cure it. I know you mean well and want to help but I am married to a physician who takes good care of me and I have done my own extensive research too.

I have always tried to not let my arthritis get in the way of what I want to do in my life. Occasionally I have needed help and have stubbornly learned to ask for that help when I need it. My children have grown up knowing they had to help mom reaching for something in a low cupboard or helping when I was too tired to do it all. Over the years they learned that sometimes I have "bad" days when I just hurt all over and they understood. I think this made them all very compassionate people.

The last couple of years I have had a few more health issues pop up which has stressed my energy to keep up lately. I have been very thankful for the ability to see some great people here in WV and get the treatment that I needed. One of my issues was a good size nodule on my under active thyroid.

You can kind of see the bump

Here it is in orange.

As we started to look at it, each test would come back needing another test to see what was going on. With each test we were getting pushed closer to a possible cancerous tumor.  So, about a month ago Dr. White (fabulous dr!) felt that it was 50/50 and the only way we could now tell for sure was to shine some light on it. Literally. I can't think of a much worse thing you can do to someone is let them know it's a 50/50 possibility that they have cancer, but we'll wait a month to let you know for sure! Talk about throwing your world for spin.

Day 1 with tubes

I just got the phone call from Dr. White. He's so awesome! Calls me directly and truly cares, even though I know he's crazy busy! The formal pathology report just came back and it all looks good. No cancer. Yay!

First look under the bandages

Day 3 of healing

I am healing up just fine. It feels really nice to be rid of the drain tube and extra bandaging! My energy level is low but my incision doesn't really hurt me that bad and the best thing is that I no longer have that "what if" cloud over my head. I counted my stitches and I counted 19 little black ones on the outside but there are more on the inside too that I can't count. It is a pretty awesome looking "Frankenstein" neck right now!

So, thank you to all my friends. I will indeed take you up on your offers for help should I need them, and would love to return the favor soon as I am able. Special thank you to D.Z. for the ride and the food. The bread is yummy. C.M. for making David's favorite dinner. How did you know? and L.F. for the visit. You were following your inspiration to drop in and you are a great example to all of someone who acts on those little thoughts. And also thanks to C.P. for her sweet support. 

I'll be back to my normal self (whatever that is)  soon enough.

Bird seed

There is so much that I could write today for the blog. The last several months I have had the wonderful privilege to be a “kept woman”!  It is a new chapter in my life. One that is simple, free of drama, calm, quiet with lots of time for me.  I am an empty nester. Yes, after spending the last 27 years of children needing my care and attention 24/7/365 I now have the wonderful privilege to watch them fly on their own, build their own nests, and fill it with little chickies.  I now can be their cheerleader on the sidelines occasionally popping my mom head out when they need my advice on something. It’s quite an indescribable thing to watch your children become self sufficient and grownups of their own. It’s amazing! It’s humbling! It makes me thankful that somehow I didn’t screw it up too badly. They were and still are the heart of my life.

My sweet David now goes out as we say to each other to “slay the dragon” for me every day while I do my best to reenact a Barbara Billingsley scene of tidy home, dinner waiting and a little makeup on my face just as he comes in the door. 

Other than that I usually have the whole rest of the day to do whatever I want. Oh, yes, I do have the occasional errand to do and a couple of crazy dogs to take care of, but so far I have taken up crocheting, learning the lap harp, jewelry making, beading, political research and avid news junkie, book reading, walking, playing Xbox Knect, and scripture study.

I have found that the only one that really has held my interest the best is my scripture study because it is the only one that gives back to me. I have found myself looking forward anxiously each day to my quiet time in the morning as I read the stories, the lessons therein and almost always there miraculously is a passage that relates in a first person way to my life that day or something that is going on in the world. It’s crazy right?! I know, but it’s true! It was put there waiting for me to read right on that very day! It’s like a little “written hug” from my Heavenly Father telling me that he knows me and understands my struggles in life. I have always been active in my faith. I have always read my Bible, Book of Mormon, sometimes more consistently than others. I always knew they were the word of God. But something changed this year. Maybe it’s just that I don’t have interruptions in my reading, or I have more time to really keep reading one more chapter or one more source. Or maybe it’s just that my house is so quiet and peaceful. Sometimes I find that it has been two hours and it has just flown by.

So that is my little life here. Peaceful, content, watching my little birds from afar. Watching the other little birds in our feeder outside the window as I read my “written hugs” from my Heavenly Father for the day.

Yesterday we had a little sparrow visit who had just grown in his flying tail feathers, yet he still had his fluffy little head. You could tell by how unsteady he was that he had learned to fly not many days ago. He had managed to fly up to the top of the bird feeder and popped down to the ledge. He could see the seeds behind the glass right in front of him and tried over and over again to get at those nice looking seeds. What he wasn’t paying attention to was the seeds right at his feet plentiful and ready for eating. Instead he just kept at his task of pecking the glass here, there, maybe the corner will be better. Finally he found the loose seeds at his feet and began to feed himself. He sat there very content on the little ledge of the feeder for several minutes just resting himself and eating the seeds. Life is full of stuff that looks shiny behind the glass. What we really need to do is start looking instead for the real things that are at our feet ready for us to pick up. It really isn’t any more wonderful or tasty just because it is behind the shiny glass. Our scriptures, our family, our friends, our home, the world…..Look down at your feet. What is waiting there for you to pick up and appreciate?