He died doing what he loved

In some sad news recently in Utah State there have been 3 recent BASE jumping deaths in their famous southern Zion National Park. If you aren’t aware what Base jumping is, it is a sport where you jump off with a parachute from different tall structures. The acronym comes from B for building, A for antennae, S for span, and E for earth. 

Basically it’s finding the tallest places all over the world, climbing up to the top and jumping off. Kind of like when you were a kid and playing Superman off the couch or the top of your bunk bed. A lot of base jumpers play it legal and only jump in places that they have permission to, but many get a thrill of doing jumps from buildings and parks where they know it’s not allowed. You can get a bit of attention if you successfully climb and jump off a popular or famous place like the Eiffel Tower or the Empire State Building.  Base jumping is illegal in Zion’s National Park.

I get it, it’s a thrill, an adrenalin rush to evade the authorities and be somewhere you aren’t allowed then the thrill of doing the jump, having your buddy film it with his camera and post the video online. You can then relive your death defying moves over and over, while getting a little public notoriety among your peers or the public. It’s risky. They know it. It’s part of the adventure and for some people it’s addicting. I’ve never really understood it because I don’t enjoy the feeling of panic and fear. The adrenalin addiction for some people, though, has actually been studied as an actual, you know…..addiction.

One person who died was on her honeymoon, just a couple weeks after her wedding. A whole life ahead of them now cut short. Another was a well-known jumper among those who do the sport, and his wife was pregnant, expecting their first child. The friend of the other man who died told the reporter that he had 5 of his friends who had died in the last year also from base jumping accidents but that "he will continue to pursue the sport he loves"

As I read thru a few notes on the comments section it was said that it was comforting to know “he died doing what he loved”.

Hmmm. Well, you see, I have a bit of a problem with that. Now I might upset a few people if you really really love getting a personal thrill at risking your life for the sake of your recreation.

I find it incredibly selfish.

 It is selfish on so many, many levels. That comfort will be pretty hollow for that mother when her baby comes into the world and he isn’t there to share that moment with his wife. That comfort won’t help the parents of the young woman now left with only memories of a life cut short. Losing a child is the biggest hurt, I’ve been told. So, yes it’s a selfish sport. The price they paid for adrenalin was pretty big. 

Now while I don’t think you need to sit back and wrap yourself in bubble wrap for the rest of eternity, there are some sports that are entirely developed to defy death and attain that adrenalin rush. So sure, go out and have fun. Push yourself a little. Live life to the fullest.

But, if I die “doing what I love” it’s not going to be alone with a parachute jumping off something big. What I love is my family: My kids, my grandkids, my husband, my siblings and parents, my friends. If I die “doing what I love” and what really matters, it's going to be helping others and making a difference in someone’s life.  If I go out in the middle of baking a big ‘ol pie for someone I love, I will have died “doing what I love”. If I die caring for my parents or speeding to get to my grandbabies birth, I will have “died doing what I love”.

So what is it that you would be doing if you “die doing what you love”?

Happy Computer Geek Day!

Fathers Day.....

I know there is a large percentage of people who question the need for all of the special recognition days that have become more or less an excuse to patronize the Hallmark card company. For some it has become a hassle and feels contrived to be forced to buy Valentines, flowers for Mom, a tie for Dad on a chosen day that has been deemed as "the" day by the powers that be. 

I'm not one of those that balks at the tradition of having a day chosen at random for me to remember the people in my life who have had a big influence on me. I like the memories that remain from my childhood and those with my own children of staying up to stuff Valentines for school or finding that small gift that will be just right in my limited budget. We get so busy with the rest of life and we miss the chance to stop and say "I love you". 

Not everyone was as blessed as I was to have a childhood home that was free of abuse, free of alcohol, but abundant with boundaries and rules, and Saturday morning chores, and Monday night family time. Most of all I knew my parents loved me. No family is perfect, but as I get older I can see how rare my mostly ideal upbringing was. Fathers Day for me each year was void of any uncomfortable shuttling between step parents or having to fake well wishes to someone that was secretly my enemy. If you are there, I hope that you find peace and love and forgiveness. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. I hope that you can one day fill these traditions and make your own good memories like mine were. 

To my Dad, I love you. I know you don't feel like you were the perfect father, but you were for me. You gave me love, stability, a perfect example of what it means to be a faithful husband, a home where respect and work was taught. There was food for every meal, doctors when I was sick, a dentists care, a center of Christ, and correction when I was wrong. You encouraged my seeking of talents, supported my education, and listened to my teenage complaints of injustice. You were my taxi, and my protector, and my cheer section. 

In your acknowledgement of your own imperfections as a parent you taught me to continue to seek for improvements in myself as a parent and ask for forgiveness from my children when I was wrong. 

I didn't need the trips to Hawaii and the designer jeans. I needed to know how to budget. I didn't need the mansion with the maid. I needed to know how to work at home. I didn't need the "cool" dad. I needed the tall gangly knock kneed engineer geek who loves computers and gadgets. I learned how to be ok with being a smart girl who is good on the computer. Most of all I needed a real man who truly loved my mom and taught me what a good marriage looks like. 

I don't know if I ever told you this, but right before my divorce it was your example that helped me to know it was the step I needed to take. I had gone out to dinner with you and mom and afterward we took a walk out on the dock over the water next to the restaurant. I watched you both hold hands as we walked along the wooden boards. Even though you had been married many years I could see how sweet and loving and genuinely still in love my parents were. 

I understood that night that I would never be able to have that in my current marriage. It was one of those turning points that I still can see in my mind. It gave me the insight that helped me to make some tough choices. It wasn't easy but it was the right choice for me. 

I have that kind of marriage now that I can walk holding hands and know that my husband is genuinely in love with me and always will be. He's the computer loving geek who helps me be the smart girl and I love him for that. 

So happy Fathers Day to you and to my sweet husband. Thank you both for being patient and loving with this very stubborn girl. I know it was my Heavenly Father's gift to me to have sent you both to me. In a way, this day is not so much for what gift or card I can give to you but that I can say thank you because I was the one who was given the gift of a Father who was perfectly imperfect, and a husband who is more in love with me the longer we are together. 

I am a very blessed woman. 

I love you both with all my heart.