Bird seed

There is so much that I could write today for the blog. The last several months I have had the wonderful privilege to be a “kept woman”!  It is a new chapter in my life. One that is simple, free of drama, calm, quiet with lots of time for me.  I am an empty nester. Yes, after spending the last 27 years of children needing my care and attention 24/7/365 I now have the wonderful privilege to watch them fly on their own, build their own nests, and fill it with little chickies.  I now can be their cheerleader on the sidelines occasionally popping my mom head out when they need my advice on something. It’s quite an indescribable thing to watch your children become self sufficient and grownups of their own. It’s amazing! It’s humbling! It makes me thankful that somehow I didn’t screw it up too badly. They were and still are the heart of my life.

My sweet David now goes out as we say to each other to “slay the dragon” for me every day while I do my best to reenact a Barbara Billingsley scene of tidy home, dinner waiting and a little makeup on my face just as he comes in the door. 

Other than that I usually have the whole rest of the day to do whatever I want. Oh, yes, I do have the occasional errand to do and a couple of crazy dogs to take care of, but so far I have taken up crocheting, learning the lap harp, jewelry making, beading, political research and avid news junkie, book reading, walking, playing Xbox Knect, and scripture study.

I have found that the only one that really has held my interest the best is my scripture study because it is the only one that gives back to me. I have found myself looking forward anxiously each day to my quiet time in the morning as I read the stories, the lessons therein and almost always there miraculously is a passage that relates in a first person way to my life that day or something that is going on in the world. It’s crazy right?! I know, but it’s true! It was put there waiting for me to read right on that very day! It’s like a little “written hug” from my Heavenly Father telling me that he knows me and understands my struggles in life. I have always been active in my faith. I have always read my Bible, Book of Mormon, sometimes more consistently than others. I always knew they were the word of God. But something changed this year. Maybe it’s just that I don’t have interruptions in my reading, or I have more time to really keep reading one more chapter or one more source. Or maybe it’s just that my house is so quiet and peaceful. Sometimes I find that it has been two hours and it has just flown by.

So that is my little life here. Peaceful, content, watching my little birds from afar. Watching the other little birds in our feeder outside the window as I read my “written hugs” from my Heavenly Father for the day.

Yesterday we had a little sparrow visit who had just grown in his flying tail feathers, yet he still had his fluffy little head. You could tell by how unsteady he was that he had learned to fly not many days ago. He had managed to fly up to the top of the bird feeder and popped down to the ledge. He could see the seeds behind the glass right in front of him and tried over and over again to get at those nice looking seeds. What he wasn’t paying attention to was the seeds right at his feet plentiful and ready for eating. Instead he just kept at his task of pecking the glass here, there, maybe the corner will be better. Finally he found the loose seeds at his feet and began to feed himself. He sat there very content on the little ledge of the feeder for several minutes just resting himself and eating the seeds. Life is full of stuff that looks shiny behind the glass. What we really need to do is start looking instead for the real things that are at our feet ready for us to pick up. It really isn’t any more wonderful or tasty just because it is behind the shiny glass. Our scriptures, our family, our friends, our home, the world…..Look down at your feet. What is waiting there for you to pick up and appreciate?

Christmas footsteps

I am now a resident of Lewisburg, West Virginia. A West Virginian. I have one more trip back west just to load up the moving truck.  I can see how so many authors would find this area an easy place to write. It is quiet and with such beautiful scenery at every season. As if on cue for Christmas we are now dosed with a generous topping of white to highlight the decorations that were just waiting for the right effect to top it all off.

It is Sunday, but David is “on call”. For those of you who are not in the medical field, that means if there is anyone who shows up at the hospital day or night needing a Neurologist, his phone will ring and then most likely he will have to climb out of his nice warm bed, go out into the frozen night to see this patient. Seizures and strokes are like babies, they usually come in the night.

Today he got a call to go see a little 7 year old girl who had a seizure. As he left our nice quiet Sunday afternoon behind I didn’t mind at all for my loss of having my husband taken from me for a while. I like spending our quiet time together. We don’t get a lot of it these days, but as I kissed him goodbye and watched him go I couldn’t help but be so grateful that he was going to be able to take care of this little girl. I remembered my own feelings as a parent of my own little girl about that same age when she suffered her first seizure and how helpless and afraid I felt. I wanted to tell the parents of this little girl that they had a great doctor who would be helping their daughter and to tell them that everything was going to be ok.

With only a week before Christmas they were probably busy with gifts and Santa wishes yesterday. Their biggest worry was most likely how to get her to clean up her room.  Today all of that was put second as they sat in the hospital waiting while the ER doctor phoned my husband for his special expertise. This year their Christmas wish list would be only for a healthy daughter. Christmas takes on a different view when you are married to someone who takes care of the sick. I am proud of him for his unwavering compassion, his diligence in seeking out the solutions to complex medical problems, for his willingness to give up his comfort and time off to take care of the most fragile patients without complaint.

This holiday I have been trying to find some sort of service to provide in remembrance of my Savior who was my greatest gift. I had been thinking of the scripture in Matt 25:40 “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Without family or friends around me this year at Christmas I wanted to focus on giving of my service to show my thankfulness for the gift of my Savior. I guess in my own way I can give some of this service as I support and allow my husband to be the healers’ hands of seven year old little girls and all those others that he is needed for. The savior was a healer too. I am lucky to have been blessed with a husband who wants to follow in those footsteps. Each of us are truly the Lord's hands here on earth.

Kaia, Ivy and Kenley

We have three little girls that have woven their way into our hearts in a way that can only be experienced and not ever explained in words. Only another grandparent knows this feeling and all attempts to describe this phenomenon are left with futile words. These three little girls are named....

Kenley, and.....

....Kaia and Ivy. 

These three little people have the ability to turn an otherwise very composed and dignified physician into a clown faced, nonsensical noise maker. I have witnessed this transformation many times now and it never ceases to amaze me how instantly this happens.

 

One minute I have a husband and as soon as the door opens with one of these little people, all notion of my former spouse dissapears and is replaced by facial contortions and some sort of new high pitched language that includes lots of clicks, raspberry blowing and giggling. It is truly a site to be experienced!

 When my "grand-parentage" was in the pregnancy stage I had all sorts of people who told me how wonderful it was going to be and how much fun being a grandma was going to be. What no one ever told me was the awe that I would experience as I watched our own children transform from "kids" into parents themselves. I have seen my daughter spend every minute of her day ensuring that my granddaughter's every need is taken care of. I have watched her stress and worry about every little cry and work so hard to study and learn about how to care for this new little person.  I have seen her give up her make-up, her fun clothes, her sleep, and sometimes her sanity, and has completely given up herself selflessly to make sure my granddaughter is taken care of in the most ideal way that she can provide. I have seen a young father who would really have loved to have a son, fall madly in love with this little angel. The moment he comes home from work, his first words are "Can I hold her now?"   

I have seen a son who his whole world used to be snowboarding, music and whatever mischief he could find turn into caring for two little girls. His mystical transformation into a true man came when we watched his "shell shocked" face as he came to tell us that not only was there a suprise on the way but that surprise was actually going to be Two surprises. Most hints of his former self were replaced with a very responsible dad who worked hard for straight A's in college, worked a steady job, and stressed over feeding and nap schedules.

I want to warn any of you who have yet to experience these phenomenon. The side effects of becoming a grandparent exhibit themselves in watery eyes, runny noses, warm fuzzy heart, and a disregard for your own schedule if there is a mention of a visit by little people.